The Hole that is Yzak's Life
by yuugiri
Summary: A silly little one shot side story from The Insatiable Heart. If you haven't read it yet, then you wouldn't know who the OC is. (YzakxKari) :P just another silly thing! LOL!


_**NOTES:**_

**_If you have not read "The Insatiable Heart", you may not know the OC here… It is kind of a side story from my other fic. Oh, well. _**

_**I have nothing against gays, okay? )**_

**_Warnings of a bit OOCness from the characters. Please forgive me. Once again struggling with updating my other stories. Failing miserably. Ugh! But I find one-shots quite relaxing to write. It gets my mind back on track. )_**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED.**_

****Standing perfectly still in front of the girls' Residential Quarters, Yzak Jule shifted his weight from one foot to another, not willing to admit to himself that he was, in all honesty, nervous and giddy about this date with his first-ever girlfriend, Karina Takano. Shying away from his usual worn-down denim pants and a rumpled cotton shirt, Kira and Lacus had actually convinced him to dress up for the rare occasion of going out in the city to enjoy the last nights of the Summer seasons in Hokkaido. He was wearing grey slacks he had to borrow from the Freedom pilot, along with a starched-to-the-crisp polo shirt. And as if this wasn't bad enough, Lacus had insisted he wear descent shoes. Now he was feeling really uncomfortable, and the date hasn't even begun.

Glancing down at his watch, which, much to his surprise, seemed to be cooperating quite well with him at the moment, he started to ask himself how and where he got the urge to ask her out.

The answer was plain and simple.

He just couldn't resist not to. Lacus and Kira wouldn't stop bugging him about it, so he believed he didn't have a choice except to comply. The conversation he had with her was the shortest one he's had so far. Not that he was keeping track of his conversations with her – coz he most certainly was _not_! That would make him look stupid – which he was not, either! But every time he would remember that conversation, he'd end up feeling really queasy inside.

"_What are you doing Saturday night?"_

_"Same as you. Nothing."_

_"Go out with me."_

_"Where?"_

_"Anywhere. Just go out with me."_

_"Sure, Yzak."_

And with that, she kissed him on the cheek, stared at him with those big, green eyes, and smiled at him while she tilted her head slightly to the right, peering up at him. _Reading _him again.

He hated his life. Ever since the war ended, it was like he was starting to live a life taken out of a day-time soap opera. He would come to school, meet up with Kari in her locker, walk her to her room, fetch her right after her class, eat lunch with her, walk her to her other class, fetch her after and then end the day with taking her home and watching a bit of the Knowledge channel while waiting for Lacus to come by to keep her company. In that long list, he would rant and rave and complain about why the heck he needed to do those things for her, but ironically would wake up the next day to do this routine all over again. Life was a bitch.

Tapping his foot impatiently on the pavement, he looked up when he heard the door of the women's RQ open up, and a smiling Kari started walking towards him. Disguising the rare emotion bubbling at the pit of his stomach after seeing her donned in a modest white dress and a pair of strappy sandals, he swallowed hard and plastered a smug expression on his already naturally smug face. It appears that Kari, too, decided to break out of her traditional jeans and loose shirts and wear a dress instead. It suited her, the dress. Yzak decided that she should wear more of those. With her pale face still containing no color except for her naturally rosy cheeks untouched by make-up, and her small, pink mouth parting as her smile broadened, she looked younger that night. The only thing that changed was her eyes. There was a certain twinkle in them that made her face light up against her silky strawberry-blond hair that brushed her shoulders gently as she moved.

"Hi," she greeted, stopping about a foot in front of him, her hands folded neatly behind her.

"Hey," Yzak greeted awkwardly, not knowing what to do next. Clenching and unclenching his hands, he wondered if he should compliment her dress, or how she looked tonight, or say something romantic to her. Finally realizing that she was standing there patiently, waiting for him to say something, he cleared his throat and said the first thing that came into his brain. "Took you long enough."

_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!!!_

As usual, his rude comment did not stop her from smiling. "I'm sorry. Lacus tried to convince me to wear a bit of blush. I had to fight my way out the door to escape from her make-up kit. I didn't keep you waiting long, did I?" she asked, the little lights in her eyes faltering a bit, making the light-haired boy feel utterly guilty of being a stick in the mud.

He shrugged. "I just got here." He had been waiting for over twenty minutes.

"I'm glad." Falling in step with him, she immediately clung to his arm gently, as she would every time they would walk side-by-side, and started to pick at the small hairs on his arms. This was probably one of the reasons why he had adamantly declined Kira's offer of a coat; he knew that deep down in his gut, however he tried to strongly deny it, Kari's little habit of playing with his arm somewhat pleases him. This small show of affection was something he easily got used to. "So where to?"

And the world suddenly stopped turning. "Huh?"

"Where to?"

He could actually kick himself then and there. He had been so nervous about what he was going to wear, pressured by the fact that he was probably going to make Kari feel like dirt that night, he hadn't actually planned anything specific for the night. Another reason why he did not bother to think ahead was because of Kira's brilliant advice.

_"Let her do the choosing. It'll be easy. When Lacus and I go out, I always make her choose and she seems to enjoy the job of picking the place."_

As he stared down at Kari's expectant face, those eyes once again twinkling brightly at the expectations that tonight was going to be a fun night, since Yzak Jule, her boyfriend, had thought of everything for her, he had the sudden urge to crawl under a rock.

_Yamato will die after this…_

"Yzak?"

The Duel pilot shook all the wonderfully violent thoughts about Kira when he felt Kari tug at his sleeve. "What?"

"Where to?"

_Oh, God…_

Shrugging, he tried to improvise. "So I was planning on taking a stroll around town before we… err… before we… " he tried to think of something that could fill up the promisingly long, long night ahead of them. "We'll take a stroll around town until we get hungry!" he finished, congratulating himself for the quick thinking.

Kari was pleased. "I would love to walk around town for a bit. I wish I had worn something more comfortable though… Maybe I should go back inside and change my sandals - "

"No!" Yzak screamed, the fear of her having to face Lacus and her make-up kit sending violent shivers down his spine. With the state of his nerves right now, he did not think it was possible he could wait for her another twenty minutes more. "Your sandals are fine. We'll walk really slow."

A little surprised with his reaction, she nodded then adjusted her grip on his arm. "Then shall we?"

"Whatever."

And they started their walk to proceed with the inevitable date of doom.

It was actually starting to be fun. Yzak and Kari ambled down the narrow and fairly crowded streets of downtown Abashiri in a leisurely pace, once in while stopping to look at something through a window of a gift shop. Yzak thought that things were promising a quiet evening, as the walk bought him enough time to think of a place where they could sit down, eat and get the whole thing over with.

Unfortunately, he was that kind of guy to whom absolutely _nothing _went his way.

When they turned the corner of some unfamiliar street, Kari let out a strangled gasp, and had it not been for Yzak, who had a firm grip on her arm, she could have toppled over and crashed on the sidewalk. Hissing out a curse, Yzak discovered what just happened.

The straps on her left sandal had snapped.

"Are you okay?"

Kari looked down at her feet and serenely nodded. "I'm fine." She was slightly amused at how unfortunate this event was. But still, nothing could possibly shatter her calm demeanor. She scooped up the broken shoe and balanced herself on one foot with her free hand on Yzak's shoulder. "Maybe we could start off early with our plan and look for a place to eat dinner?"

There were no arguments from the Duel pilot there. But there was one problem. Kari simply could not walk on one foot. He will have to carry her.

_Why is this happening to me?_

Looking left, then right, scouting the area around for the nearest restaurant, he decided that he really did not have any choice but to carry her, so he might as well look for a place where he wouldn't have to carry her that far. Spotting an old-looking little enclosed building down the alley, he ended up gambling that it would be a place where they could dine. After observing the place a bit while Kari tried to recover, he could see men and women alike going in, but never out. It looked like a popular place. Maybe the food was good there.

Kneeling on the ground on one knee, he looked over his shoulder to his date. "Come on. I'll give you a piggyback ride."

Kari, her face as placid as a lake, shook her head. "I'm wearing a skirt, Yzak."

At first a little confused if it made a difference, Yzak let out a loud snort, but immediately took it back when he realized what she meant. Riding on his back, she'd have to spread her legs to get a good grip on his torso.

Feeling slightly annoyed with himself for being so utterly stupid, he straightened up and furrowed his brow in thought. He wished he had allowed her to change her footwear when she said so… Grunting as he looked her up and down, analyzing their situation, he bent down, swiftly scooped her by the back of her knees and under her arms, causing her to let out a soft cry at the sudden gesture. She clutched at his shirt tightly, her broken shoe sitting innocently on her stomach.

Feeling awfully embarrassed at his present situation, he felt his face heat up as he saw people look at them questioningly. Growling at the nearby man who eyed Kari's legs with a smile tugging at his ugly face, he bared his teeth in anger. "Keep your eyes to yourself if you don't want to die." His glare was more than enough to drive him away. Feeling a little better, he stalked across the street and swept into the said restaurant, only to find himself engulfed in total darkness, and the smell of alcohol and smoke. He could hear a few people murmuring and moaning in the background.

That was more than enough to tell him he had walked into the wrong place. What was worse, he had Kari with him.

"Yzak," she said meekly. "Where did you take us?"

"I have no idea."

Just when he was about to turn back and maybe try to slink out of that terrible hole he got themselves into, the room erupted into sharp, bright neon lights, making stars dance in front of his eyes, along with loud, ear-splitting music that racked his skull and vibrated down his spine. Blinking in the attempt to restore his eyesight, he felt everything tilt dangerously to the right at what he saw… Men and women alike were sitting on tables and bars, drinking and flirting and necking each other everywhere. What was worse… all seemed to have a certain unique sexual preference…

Obviously, Kari was seeing it, too. "Yzak!" She cried out in distress, for the first time sounding frightened and agitated. "We're in… we're in a **_gay bar!!!"_**

****She did not have to tell him twice. He felt his insides churn violently as his eyes traveled all over the room, hazy of smoke and where he could see… erhm!... disturbing sights and hear equally disturbing sounds all around him. He saw Kari bury her face to his chest. In that instant, he could feel the night dying completely.

He felt his heart slowly stop beating as he tried to ask himself why, oh, why was he this damn unlucky. Life was a bitch…

Turning around, Kari still clutched tightly in his arms, he sighed and was about to push his way back out only to discover that it would not move. "What the…?" he muttered, his nerves suddenly tying themselves into tight knots.

Just then, a shadow loomed over him from behind and, whirling around in defensive mode, he felt his breath catch at his throat at the sight of a fat, stinky, sweaty body tower over him. Looking up, a pair of nasty dark eyes stared back down at him. He guessed he was a bouncer there…?

"We need to get out," Yzak said over the loud music.

"**_What?" _**the bouncer boomed, crossing his arms menacingly over his massive chest.

"_I said, **we need to get out!!**_**" **Yzak shouted loudly, starting a round of screaming between him and the fat man.

The man smiled. "**_Sorry kid! The door doesn't open in two hours!"_**

"**_Why's that?'_**

**_"It's crowd control policy! We can only let a number of people in at a time. Or else it will be too crowded. The strippers don't like it when it's too crowded!_**"

Yzak felt all the blood drain from his face. He felt Kari stiffen in his arms. **_"The what?!"_**

"**_STRIPPERS, BOY! STRIPPERS!!!"_**

**** And as if on cue, the whole crowd of lesbian and gay lovers erupted in joyous cheers as three well-muscled men with white masks dance their way onto the fairly large stage up front. Yzak wanted to die then and there.

"But we're not… we're … **_THIS IS A TERRIBLE MISTAKE!!!!_**" he protested, and Kari whimpered a bit in his arms. If he were to take this seriously, he could have easily rammed himself against the door and freed themselves without any hassle. But the problem was, he did not want to get into trouble with Kari there…

The bouncer had no shred of sympathy for them. "**_Just go and crash somewhere. Two hours, and you can get out. Don't go causing trouble._**"

He did not like that guy. It took him every ounce of his self-control not to knee him between his fat legs. Kari was the only thing that kept him sane, then. Sitting her in the back table away from the stage where the **_STRIPPERS! _**were having the time of their life striping the night away.

It was official. This was the most terrible dates in the history of most terrible dates.

Getting slightly bothered when Kari just sat there, her eyes staring at him silently, not saying anything, he cleared his throat and sighed. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Are you mad at me or something? You're not talking."

She shook her head.

Yzak looked away, trying to divert his eyes from her pretty face, only to find himself looking straight at two men sitting at the table next to them making out. His stomach doing violent flip-flops, he buried his face into his arms, feeling like a million-dollar loser.

His first date was a flop. In the corner of his mind, he could see Dearka dying of laughter once he found out of this day. He will never let his friend breathe without reminding him that he took his first ever girl-friend to their first-ever date in a gay-bar… their first live show a trio of male strippers…

His head snapped back up when he felt someone picking at the tiny hairs on his arm again, and felt a little better. He looked up and saw Kari gazing down at him with a small smile on her lips.

"It is fairly amusing, isn't it?" she asked, also resting her chin on the table and continuously stroking his forearm.

Yzak snorted in disagreement, but no sooner did he shut up as he knew he owed her an apology. Which was not at all easy. He did not like admitting he was wrong. Too bad he really was. "Hardly. I'm sorry, Kari. I really didn't have anything planned for tonight. I had been so caught up with preparing _for _the date that I actually forgot about _the _date. This is a sucky first for us. I'm sorry," he grumbled, almost embarrassed that he, Yzak Jule, who had been so good at almost everything, could not even handle a night out with his girlfriend.

He was rewarded by a fleeting smile from her, and a gentle tug at his skin. "Imagine the story we can tell our grandchildren," she said.

Strangely, he actually found the humor in this. "Yeah, imagine the old wounds we have to open when we do that. 'Hey grandchildren, gather around and hear of the tale of how your grandfather was such a loser when he was young'."

Now it was her turn to laugh. A little proud that he was able to crack a joke even without meaning it to be one, he shook his head and hoped to everything that was good and holy that two hours wouldn't be that long a time. "I'll get you some shoes after we get out of this hell hole."

She smiled. "Thank you."

Great. Everything was finally turning out fine. All they had to do was to wait for two hours and that would be it. They decided to remain silent and just imagine that there weren't any people around them. Yzak buried his face back on the table.

And everything would have worked out too, had this not happened.

Yzak felt someone touch his shoulder and he shivered at the thought of Kari playing advances on him. He raised his head and was about to give her a nasty look when he saw her staring back at him with wide, uncharacteristically dilated eyes.

He blinked then let his eyes travel from her face, down to the table, where her hands were folded neatly in front of her. _Both _her hands…

And with that, the hairs at the back of his head stood up as he jerkily looked over his shoulders at what the heck it was that was now fiddling with his collar.

At the sight of it, Yzak screamed bloody murder.

"I can't help but notice you from across the room, with that silver hair and nice shoulders…" the man said as his hand quickly traveled from his collar to his sleeve.

Shivers racked his spine at his touch and all rationality flew out the window then and there. Screw the bouncer and his two-hour crowd-control policy! With a roar, Yzak jumped to his feet, grabbed Kari with a swift hand and threw her over his shoulder in a fireman's hold. Gaining momentum with each step, the man calling after him about it taking time before you accept **_it_**, whatever **_it _**may be, Yzak stormed to the door.

When he reached the door, the bouncer was waiting as if anticipating his actions, but Yzak couldn't care any less. He had just been hit on by a **_guy_**!!!

Mauling over the fat man, sending him off his feet and crashing against a nearby table, he took a step back and raised his left foot, balancing on his right one as he tried to keep Kari, who was holding on to his neck in a death grip, over his shoulder. With one swift blow, he brought his foot down on the lock barring the door, sending wood splinters flying in all directions.

Calling out to them, the bouncer tried desperately to get to his feet, but as he was so fat, he was having a hard time even screaming to them. By the time he finally did scramble on his wobbly legs, Yzak was out the door with Kari still slung over his shoulders, and a mob of very shocked "men" and "women" came stampeding inside the bar which was supposedly closed until the next two hours.

A daring escape. Yzak never wanted to stroll around the city ever again…

And five minutes later, they were sitting in on the sidewalk in front of the seven-eleven store near the city library, each ravenously consuming a hotdog and sharing a super-sized Pepsi. Kari's legs were stretched out in front of her, looking awfully silly wearing a formal dress while sporting a pair of cheap sneakers, her sandals forlornly sitting between her and the Duel pilot.

"It wasn't so bad, now was it?" she said happily in between mouthfuls of her hotdog.

Yzak grunted. "It was the worst night of my life."

"It was the best night of my life."

This made the Duel pilot look at her strangely. "Breaking your shoes and getting stranded in a gay bar was the best night for you? Sheesh! Now I wouldn't know what I'd do on our next date…" No sooner were the words out of his mouth did he realize he actually implied there would be a next one. He stared at the half-consumed hotdog in his hand and groaned…

He turned to her as she shoved the sandals out of the way in order for her to move a little bit closer to him, leaning her head on his shoulder, one again making him stiffen. "I really don't care. Just bring yourself."

Yzak growled, covering up the faint blush rising over his face. "I hate you."

She giggled. "I hate you, too, Yzak. Very much…"

_**0 -- 0 -- 0 -- 0**_

_**LOL! Another silly one-shot for my writer's block therapy. )**_

_**I'm going to do a LacusxKira one-shot next time if my brain still wouldn't work properly… sigh!**_


End file.
